The Return of the Bakers (Part 2)

Celestia paced quietly through the halls of the royal castle, offering silent approval to the unicorns who were working to decorate corridors with black satin and gray tapestries. Pegasi fluttered around the taller rooms, hanging dark curtains over the windows. Stepping onto a balcony, the princess was pleased to see that the citizens of Canterlot were decorating their homes in a similar fashion. Celestia truly believed that this mourning ceremony would be helpful to the inhabitants of Equestria. She had to believe it would be helpful; after so many months of failing to protect her subjects, she wanted to think she was capable of offering them some kind of comfort.

A sudden crash and loud shouts distracted the alicorn from her thoughts, and she looked towards the castle courtyard. A pair of unicorn guards had raised their weapons, and were directing them towards a shivering form, huddled in the bushes. They were standing near one of the farther walls of the castle, and nopony else noticed what was going on.

"Lay your hooves out flat!" Steel Tooth, the elder guard, ordered. "Keep your wings against your back!"

Celestia stared at the scene in surprise, then swooped down from the balcony. She had never heard one of her guards speak with such contempt, such… loathing.

"What is going on?" the princess demanded, looking towards the figure on the ground. She gasped in horror when she recognized the gray pegasus.

Derpy stared up at the alicorn, her crossed yellow eyes swimming with tears. There was a long cut running along her forehead, and bruises speckled her flanks and legs. She looked petrified.

"Your highness," Steel Tooth said softly, bowing. "She just flew at us, then crashed in the bushes. At first, we thought she was injured, but then…" His voice grew harsher as he glared down at the killer. "We realized who she was."

Derpy sniffled and tried to crawl back into the bushes. Porcelain, the younger guard, grabbed Derpy's front hooves with her magic to restrain her.

Princess Celestia slowly approached the gray pegasus, her eyes uncharacteristically dark. "Why have you come here?" she asked in a soft, icy voice.

Derpy hiccupped as began to cry faster. Her words came fast, mixing with gasps and sobs. "Pinkie Pie said Derpy was gonna be a good helper an' help her make cupcakes, but then she said Derpy wasn't such good a helper an' she had her sisters an' they was gonna help 'stead of me, and she said Derpy wasn't any smart enough to do nothing good, an' then she told me to go run 'way, an' she throwed stuff at me, an' Derpy got hurted on my head an' got losted an' Derpy was scared an' I can't fly so good an' I crasheded in the bushes an' now my head got even more hurted an' they talking too loud at me an'--" Her words trailed off into a frightened wail.

Celestia frowned, staring hard at the bawling pegasus. "You… you were chased away by Pinkie Pie?"

Derpy nodded, hiccupping again.

"Where is she?" Celestia asked, fighting to keep her voice soft, so as not to further frighten the pegasus. "Are they in Canterlot?"

"Uh-uh," Derpy mumbled. "They was in Ponyville, but Pinkie said they was gonna go some'ere else, and they was gonna go on a boats. But she not tell Derpy where they was going."

Celestia closed her eyes tightly, trying to control her nervousness. On a boat, somewhere overseas, but how could they afford to take a ship anywhere? Perhaps there was someone else helping them, with access to a boat. That was all they needed…

Derpy reached out hesitantly to touch Celestia's leg, but Steel Tooth stopped her, stepping hard on her hoof. The pegasus screeched in pain, and Celestia turned to her guard. "Don't do that," she commanded in a calm voice. "I don't believe she is dangerous on her own."

"You can't know that," Porcelain said. "She was, at the very least, an assistant to murder. She may have even personally killed some of the victims. Just because she isn't mentally right--"

Celestia held up a hoof to silence the unicorn, then carefully knelt down in front of the trembling Derpy, so they were eye-to-eye. "Derpy," she said, her voice soft. "Do you understand what it is Pinkie Pie did? What Pinkie Pie asked you to do?"

Derpy blinked at the princess, her bright yellow eyes confused. "Pinkie Pie said she liked to make ponies s'priseded," she said slowly. "She tolded me that we was gonna give the ponies speshal sleepy food, an' then we was gonna take them to the spesh'lly secret room. Then when they woked up, me an' Pinkie tooked off their legs so we could get the speshal muffin juice that was hiding inside their legs. Then the ponies goed back to sleep. Then Pinkie told me to go up-a-stairs 'gain, and when I was up-a-stairs, Pinkie put the ponies back together, and they'd be so s'prised 'cause it was a magic trick. But then the ponies had to go live some other place, so they wouldn't tell nopony 'bout Pinkie's magic tricks, 'cause then it wouldn't be a s'prise no more."

Celestia struggled to blink back tears as the innocent pegasus stared up at her. She swallowed slowly, then got to her hooves. "Derpy," she said softly, trying to keep herself composed, "What you did was… was very, very bad. Can you understand that? You caused a lot of pain for a lot of ponies."

Derpy blinked in confusion. "Derpy not want do bad," she said uncertainly, starting to cry again. "Didn't they like the magic trick? Pinkie Pie said everypony loveded the magic trick…"

"Your highness," Porcelain interjected, trying to hide her impatience. "Perhaps this discussion could be continued once this mare is properly contained?"

"What that mean?!" Derpy asked in a loud voice, fluttering her wings fearfully. "What you gonna do to me?!"

Steel Tooth punched Derpy across the face, and she let out of scream of pain. Usually, the red unicorn was fairly collected and professional; but he had lost a son to the bakers, and was struggling to contain his rage.

"We are going to lock you up," he growled through gritted teeth, "so you can never hurt another pony."

The gray pegasus began to sob, harder than she had when the unicorns first approached her. "No, no, Derpy not want get locked up! Don't do lock me up, I not do magic tricks no more, don't make Derpy be locked up!"

Celestia closed her eyes tightly, taking a deep breath. It is my duty to protect the citizens of Equestria… and it is my duty to forgive those who are remorseful.

"Porcelain," the princess said softly, "please release her hooves."

The cream unicorn blinked uncertainly, but obeyed, retracting the magic that held Derpy in place. The gray pegasus scooted up against the wall of the castle, shivering with fear. Celestia stepped slowly towards the cowering figure, and gently touched her nose to her head.

"Would you like to come and stay with me, Derpy?" she asked in a gentle voice.

"WHAT?!" Steel Tooth and Porcelain cried in unison.

Derpy smiled slightly. "Uh-hum."

Steel Tooth stepped between Celestia and Derpy, shaking from the effort it took to not scream at his leader. "Your highness, I must object to this decision. This pony is a murderer, and her mental state does not change that fact!"

Celestia turned to the guard, her gaze cool. "I understand your anger, but her mental state does, in fact, make all the difference. There are foals who possess a better understanding of the world. It was easy for Pinkie Pie to corrupt her because she had no understanding of morals. A pony such as this must be taken under the wing of one who is capable of showing her patience, and teaching her what is right and what is not. Until a more suitable pony can be charged with that task, I will look after her."

Steel Tooth opened his mouth to argue, but Celestia cut him off, her tone becoming stricter. "And as your princess, I forbid you from telling any pony that she is in my care. Is that understood?"

Porcelain trembled with rage and slowly lowered her head. "Yes, your highness," she growled. Steel Tooth refused to look at the alicorn.

Celestia got to her hooves and carefully picked Derpy up with her magic. The gray pegasus giggled as they flew into the air, eventually coming to rest on Celestia's personal balcony. While Derpy admired the view, Celestia arranged her extra pillows into a makeshift bed. Derpy giggled with delight when she saw it.

"Pillow bed!" the pegasus cried, jumping onto the pillows and mussing them up. Celestia laughed as Derpy kicked the pillows in every direction, then made a game out of jumping from one to the next without hitting the floor.

It felt good to laugh again.


Celestia spent the afternoon talking to Derpy, feeling calmer then she had in a long time. She felt like she was caring for a foal, but in a way, Derpy seemed like less than a foal. Like a newborn baby who was somehow able to walk. Derpy was thrilled to have her mane brushed, delighted to see Celestia's magic at work, ecstatic when Celestia produced a small bowl of candies for her. When the mare fell asleep against the alicorn's side, Celestia was struck by an overwhelming sense of peace.

This wasn't a murderer. It couldn't be. This was a poor filly who had been taken advantage of. Not a killer.

Celestia glanced out her window, then got to her hooves. "Derpy," she said in a gentle voice, "I need to leave now."

The gray pegasus blinked awake, and stood up. "I come too?" she asked, tilting her head.

"No," Celestia said quietly. "It would not be appropriate. But you can stay in my room."

To her surprise, Derpy began to shake her head violently. "Somepony might come in here an' see Derpy, an' they get mad at Derpy and try hurt Derpy, an' you not here to tell 'em stop it!"

"Nopony knows you are here except for Steel Tooth and Porcelain," Celestia pointed out, "and they promised they would keep you a secret."

Derpy stared at her hooves. "Ponies break promises sometimes," she mumbled. "Pinkie Pie promise to take care of Derpy for always."

The alicorn sighed, a tad frustrated but also sympathetic. She trotted over to the fireplace and touched a spot on the wall beside it with her hoof. This place on the wall looked no different from the rest, but when it was touched, a small door opened within the wall. Celestia trotted into the room, lighting a lantern that hung on the ceiling with her horn. Derpy looked around excitedly. The room was decently sized, just a bit smaller than Celestia's bedroom, and painted a light blue. Bookshelves lined the wall at the end of the room, each one stuffed with large tomes. There were crates stacked up here and there, and a few piles of paper tied with ribbon. In a corner, a dark gray chest was wrapped in chains.

"Only Luna and I know about this room," Celestia said, glancing around and giving a nostalgic sigh. "It was here when I came to this castle, and I didn't even find out about it until just before Luna returned. It is connected to her room as well," Celestia added, motioning to a small button on the opposite wall. Derpy turned and noticed an identical button next to the door behind her. "But Luna will be at the ceremony with me tonight. You won't be disturbed."

Derpy grinned and hugged the alicorn's leg. "Thank you, C'lestia!" she cried, grinning. The princess smiled and gently nuzzled the pegasus before drawing away. "I'll see you tonight. Take care."

With a final smile, Celestia trotted out of the room and shut the door.

Derpy waited until she was certain the princess had left, then opened the door back up. She unfolded her wing and a small balloon and length of string fell to the floor. The pegasus blew up the balloon until it was nice and round, then attempted to tie it up. It slipped a couple times, but eventually, she was successful. Derpy then trotted onto Celestia's balcony and tied the other end of the string to the railing, being careful to make sure it was nice and tight. Once she was satisfied, the mare trotted back into the room and waited.


"See anything yet?" Blinkie asked, her sharp tone muffled slightly by the black cloak she wore.

Bitter Sweets rolled her eyes. "I'll tell you when I spot something, okay?"

The teal pegasus was perched at the top of a tree, a pair of binoculars held to her face. She was looking over the castle for the fourth time, and was about to start from the bottom once again, when she stopped. A small pink balloon was hanging from a balcony railing, bobbing gently in the breeze.

"Okay, I see it," Bitter Sweets said quietly. "It's on the balcony in the highest tower, far to the left."

Pinkie let out a cry and a leap of joy before Inkie could stop her. "That's Celestia's room!" she squeaked.

"Shhh!" Babs hissed, glancing quickly around. Fortunately, the majority of Canterlot's citizens were already making their way to Ponyville; and those who were still around did not notice the pink pony's outburst.

"Sorry," Pinkie Pie whispered, putting a hoof to her mouth. "I'm just so, so, SO happy! Derpy did great!"

"Don't get too excited," Blinkie commanded, glaring at her younger sister. "Derpy did a good job of getting so close to Celestia, but we still need to get up there."

Pinkie began to calm down, and her face became more serious. "Okay," she said quietly, pulling her hood tighter over her head. "Is everypony ready?"

The group nodded, though in fact, they were all a bit nervous. Babs and Bitter Sweets had managed to pull the rest of the group in a covered cart from Ponyville to Canterlot, and though the trek had been long and tiring, nopony had given them any attention. Now, they had to abandon the cart, and though the cloaks Pinkie and Inkie had stitched together were long and covering, they had concerns that somepony might question their attire.

But, it seemed they were not the only ponies in Equestria who decided to dress in black; several of the ponies they saw were wearing articles of dark clothing. The group was able to make their way up to the castle without any trouble. However, once they got to the castle and approached the side door they planned to enter, things became a bit difficult. A crystal unicorn guard stood in front of the door, his eyes dark and determined. They had known Shining Armor and Cadence planned to stay in Celestia's castle, and they figured they'd bring some bodyguards with them; but the fact that they had brought guards for the castle as well was unexpected. The group ducked out of sight before the guard noticed them, and hid behind a grove of bushes.

"What do we do now?" Apple Bloom whispered.

"We could kill him," Blinkie Pie suggested, and Minkie grinned at the suggestion.

Pinkie Pie shook her head. "Then they'll know we're here. Even if they don't find us, Celestia and Luna will go someplace safer."

Babs smiled with slight amusement. "If ya just wanna distract 'im, I can take care a that."

The older ponies looked down at her with slight surprise. "Really?" Minkie Pie asked softly.

Babs rolled her eyes. "Trust me, ya hang out in my neighborhood for a week, ya learn a lotta ways to cause a distraction. But for this," she added, "I'm gonna need her help."

The filly jerked her head very pointedly towards Bitter Sweets. She didn't hide the fact that she disliked the pegasus, which stemmed from her rage that Bitter Sweets tried to blackmail the Pies, and also her embarrassment that it was her fault that the bakers had been found.

Bitter Sweets blinked in slight surprise. "What do you need me to do?"

Babs explained her plan quickly, pointing out a small balcony where they could regroup once they got inside. Then the orange earth pony handed her cloak to Apple Bloom and picked up a stone in one hoof.

Cherry Dust glanced upwards, waiting for the ceremony to begin. It should be starting soon…

He gasped as something sharp struck his flank. Turning, the unicorn spotted a filly with a red mane, laughing and sticking her tongue out. "Go back home!" she shouted mockingly. "You crystal faces don't belong here!"

Cherry Dust blinked in confusion, then winced as the filly picked up another stone and hurled it at him, this time hitting his cheek. The stallion growled in anger, then charged at the filly, who laughed and galloped away. Cherry Dust followed her, and so he did not notice the five cloaked figures slipping into the palace. Only when the door was shut behind them did Inkie breathe a sigh of relief.

"I can't believe that worked," she said, shaking her head. "Honestly, he's a guard, and he abandons his post to chase a little brat? If this weren't working in our favor, I'd be disgusted."

"You can complain about it later," Blinkie Pie said in her bossy tone. "Come on, we have to get upstairs."

Pinkie Pie had chosen this door because she knew there was a servant's staircase close by. Since the castle was mostly empty for the ceremony, the staircase was barely lit. Pinkie trotted up the stair a little faster than she needed to, wanting to hurry and get on with their plan, wanting to get to the fun part as quickly as possible.

When they reached the balcony they had agreed on, the group paused. After a minute, which felt like a lifetime, Bitter Sweets swooped silently into the room, Babs crouched low on her back. Apple Bloom grinned as her cousin hopped off the pegasus's back, and playfully slapped her hoof. "How'd you think to do that?"

Babs blushed. "I seen other foals do that kinda thing back home," she said, shrugging to try and hide a pleased smile. "Did it ta get inta movies and stuff. No big deal."

Inkie Pie smiled and ruffled the filly's mane. "It's a big deal for us," she said, and Babs could no longer hide her delight at being praised.

"C'mon," Pinkie Pie whispered, leading the group quietly down the hallway. Twice they spotted guards and had to duck out of sight, and both times, Pinkie thought her heart was going to explode from fear; but they went unnoticed. Eventually, the group reached Celestia's room, and they ducked inside.

Derpy looked up, grinning. "Hi!"

The group smiled, then gasped at the gray pegasus's appearance. Minkie ran up to Derpy and gently ran a hoof along her cut. "What happened?" she asked softly, her eyes glittering with sympathy.

Derpy laughed. "I hitted myself with a rock!" she said proudly, showing off the bruises on her flank. "That way, C'lestia really thought you chased me away, an' she felt more sorry for me!"

Minkie sighed with relief, then hugged the pegasus affectionately. "You didn't need to do that."

"But it worked!" Derpy said proudly, hopping with delight. "C'lestia thought you was all mean to me, an' she thought you was gonna go on a boat, an' she said I can sleep right in here with her!"

Pinkie Pie grinned at those words. "I can't believe you got her to let you stay here," she said, smiling brightly. "You must have really fooled her!"

Derpy beamed happily and went to untie the balloon on the balcony. The other ponies threw off their cloaks and began digging through their saddlebags. "Where are we going to work, Derpy?" Blinkie asked.

The pegasus's grin became even wider. "C'lestia showed me a speshal room," she said brightly, hopping over to the fireplace. She felt around on the wall until she finally tapped the right spot, and the door swung open. Pinkie Pie's mouth fell open, then she started to squeal with delight.

"This… is… the most fantasterific totally awesomazing thing I have ever seen in all my life ever!" she shrieked, literally bouncing off the walls of the small room.

Inkie rolled her eyes, but she couldn't hold back a slight smile. "Settle down," Pinkamena," she ordered softly. She then turned to Derpy. "Did Celestia say if any pony knows about this room?"

"Nope!" Derpy said proudly. "Jus' her and Luna. Oh! I almost forgotted, look at this!" The gray mare trotted across the room and tapped the button on the far way. A second door slid open, revealing Princess Luna's bedroom. There was an additional bed set up, and a suitcase next to it.

"Who else is staying in here?" Minkie asked curiously. Derpy shrugged.

"C'lestia didn't tell me there was somepony else in here…"

Bitter Sweets trotted into the room and studied the suitcase. She grinned darkly when she noticed the luggage ID tag. "Cadence and Shining Armor."

Pinkie's eyes bulged. "They're… staying… RIGHT NEXT DOOR?!?!"

Blinkie held her young sister's mouth shut while she waited for the fit of excitement to pass. "Bitter Sweets," she ordered, "set up the notes."

The pegasus nodded and reached into her saddlebag. She pulled out four candies and three pieces of paper. She took the pink striped candy and the cream colored candy and set them both on the extra bed with the note that read, "Shining Armor and Princess Cadence: I am sorry about Twilight Sparkle. I hope she gets better soon." Next, she took a note that said, "Princess Luna, thank you for protecting us," and put it on Luna's bed with a soft green candy. She started towards Celestia's bed, then paused and stared at the candy bowl on the floor. "Derpy, where did that come from?"

The gray pegasus followed her gaze. "Oh, C'lestia thought I would like candy, so she gived me some."

Bitter Sweets smiled. "Perfect," she said, placing the brown candy in the empty bowl. "This is a bit less suspicious," she added as she tossed the third letter in the fireplace. "You can tell her you saved it for her, okay?"

Derpy smiled. "Okay!"

Minkie Pie smiled slightly. "This whole ceremony, the secret room, having Luna AND Cadence just across the way, and now the candy bowl… I never really subscribed to our parents beliefs, but I'm beginning to think some higher power wants us to be successful."

Pinkie Pie grinned. "Let's hope so!" she said, hopping eagerly. "Okay, we'd better start setting up the toys!"

The other ponies began rooting through their saddlebags and preparing the room, but Pinkie paused before joining them. She smiled and gave Derpy a big hug. "I'm so proud of you! You did so good!"

Derpy blushed. "Is not such a big deal," she said modestly, shuffling a hoof. "C'lestia kept wanting to do nice things. I barely had to say anything."

Pinkie Pie's smile began to droop, and her eyes became troubled. "Derpy," she said slowly, not wanting to offend the pegasus, "if… if you decided you don't want to play with Celestia, that's okay. We won't get mad."

Derpy giggled, her eyes filling with dark delight. "C'lestia kept trying to be nice at me," she said. "She talk real, real slow. She say Derpy shouldn't go to jail, 'cause Derpy not understand what Pinkie Pie maded her do. She think Derpy need all-a kinds of help."

The smile faded, and was replaced by a dark grimace. "Trust me; Derpy gonna have lotsa fun playin' with her."


Celestia sighed quietly as she trotted into her room. Despite the nervousness of some, she was glad they had gone ahead with the ceremony. She felt like it had offered closure to the ponies of Equestria. And… it was very soothing for her, too.

Celestia paused, then giggled at the large lump underneath her blanket. "Hello, Derpy," the alicorn cooed.

The pegasus poked her head out, grinning brightly. "Hi! The room gotted too scary, so I decided, I hide under the blanket instead, 'cause the blanket's nice an' warm an' not so scary." She gasped as though remembering something, then grabbed the candy bowl. "I saveded you one!"

Celestia smiled slightly. "That's very kind of you, Derpy, but I'm not very hungry…"

Derpy's crossed yellow eyes began to fill with tears. "But… but I saveded it for you," she repeated.

Celestia sighed, then smiled. "Okay, if you saved it." The alicorn picked up the brown candy, removed the wrapper, and popped it into her mouth. It was chocolate flavored and chewy. Celestia smiled and laid down on her bed.

"Thank you, Derpy," the princess said, smiling. "That was very good. Now, I think I'm going to go to sleep. Is that okay?"

"Sure!" Derpy said, bouncing happily. "Want me to sing a speshal sleepy song?"

Celestia giggled, shutting her eyes. "That'd be lovely, dear."

Derpy began to sing, her voice soft and sweet and calming.

My name is Derpy Hooves,
An' I would like to say,
I am so glad that everything
Is going just our way.

Celestia frowned slightly. That was an… odd lyric. The alicorn opened her eyes to look at the pegasus, but found her vision was very blurry. She tried to shake her head, but… she couldn't raise her neck. Her head was heavy, her body was… stiff.

It doesn't matter now
What you may try to do;
I jus' can't wait to hear you scream
When we start to work on you…

Celestia opened her mouth, but she couldn't force any words out of her throat. Her breathing sped up as she tried desperately to move her legs, to use her magic, to scream for help. Nothing worked, and even as she struggled, her vision became blurrier. She could faintly make out Derpy getting to her feet and trotting away from her. She heard a whoosh as the door by the fireplace slid open. And never once did Derpy stop singing, her voice still calm and gentle.

'Cause I'll love to make you bleed, bleed, bleed.
This is true.
I'll set all of your organs free, free, free,
Free from you.
An' then I'm gonna hear you scream, scream, scream…
An' then you're gonna stop.

Celestia's vision became entirely dark, and she knew she was about to pass out. Just before she lost consciousness, she heard a second voice. It was bright and happy, and it burned inside her ears, turning her blood to ice.

"Wow, Derpy! That's such a pretty song!"